Monday, February 3, 2014

Grandpa

First off, WOW! I just logged on to see I have 1400 page views! Thanks to all of you!

I'm currently in a speech class, and had to write an introductory speech for someone, but couldn't use any online sources. How, in today's world, can I do that? Do a speech about someone you know, of course! My grandpa passed away on January 5th, 2011, but I chose to do my speech on this amazing man anyhow. He was such a wonderful influence in my life, and I think of him often. He will forever be someone I strive to be like, and I hope I can be half as awesome as he. I only wish I had more time with him . . .

That being said, here is my speech introducing my grandpa, Robert "Bob" Holloway.
     Dedication is a quality everyone strives to achieve, and Robert “Bob” Holloway seems to have that quality down pat. I'm very proud to admit that Bob is my grandfather, and that he is a man dedicated to his work, his family, and the various clubs he has been a part of throughout his life.
     All his life, Bob always wanted nothing more than to be a farmer. He was an active member of both his 4-H club, and of Future Farmers of America all through high school. Once he graduated high school in 1962, he began his own farm, which eventually built up to a family corporation. When he first started, he farmed by day and worked at a local gas station by night to help make ends meet his daughter-in-law, Sheila, said in an interview. Together, he and his wife built their farm and raised hogs over the course of thirty years. At one time they had over 250 hogs on their hog farm, breeding, raising, and selling them. Picking up 220 pound hogs, turning them around, and sending them on their merry way can take a toll on a person's body, as evident by the many surgeries he had due to injuries sustained by this common activity on the farm.
     In 1989, at the age of 45 he let his son, Stacey, take over the family farm and went to Grand Island to pursue an education in law enforcement at the academy. Once he graduated, he joined the Hamilton County Sheriff's Department in Aurora, Nebraska as Chief Deputy, where he spent twenty years in the same office doing the same job until he retired in 2009, a feat not achieved by many. According to an interview with his daughter-in-law, he earned awards and accolades from many senior officials in the state of Nebraska throughout his twenty year career.
     Even after he turned over the farm to his son, he and his wife could still be found out in the fields in the evenings and on weekends, guiding and assisting his son through harvest, irrigation, and any other farm troubles he may come across. After he reached retirement, he helped out even more, always looking forward to another day on the farm.
     Bob married his high school sweetheart in 1964. His wife, Karen, told me in an interview that they met at school. “Aurora High School isn't very big, and it wasn't back then either,” she said. In 1965, they began their family with a son, Troy, my father, to be later followed by another son, Stacey, and a daughter, Candy. He was a wonderful father as his children grew up, taking them camping and helping them raise their own livestock, as well as leading their 4-H groups and being a FFA sponsor. As his children grew up and had children, his grandkids became his pride and joy and he passed on many of his own passions to them. From fishing and farming, to cars and camping. He always tries his best to make it to every activity, and is always loving and supportive of every choice we make.
     Bob started his first 4-H club before any of his kids were even old enough to join, leading instead kids from the surrounding and near by farms. In the 1970's he even got to take his group on a trip to Canada for a leadership camp.
     In addition to 4-H, he and his wife started the Hamilton County chapter of Junior Pork Producers to help encourage young people to continue raising hogs. They led this group for twenty years before the demand dwindled away and their group dissolved, but not before they set up a scholarship for Hamilton County teens and young adults looking to continue their education in agriculture and agribusiness that is still available today.
     Bob was also on the Hamilton County fair board, holding various positions throughout the years.
     Bob had many interests that didn't involve agriculture though! He loved cars and racing as well. In the mid to late 1960's he brought dirt track stock car racing to Hamilton County, co-owning a car with a friend of his, though he never drove it himself. Instead, he provided 'half time entertainment' of sorts as “Buckin' Bob” with his bobcat, picking up debris from the track and performing various tricks, his son, Troy, told me in an interview. He also started demolition derbies, which he did compete in in the number eleven car. Thankfully, he was never hurt in the derbies, but, “that was one of his stupid moments,” says his wife in an interview.
      To say the least, Bob is a hardworking man. He loves his family, he's dedicated to his job, and he loves sharing his interests and activities with others in the community.
     Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm welcome to Bob Holloway.

Rest in peace Grandpa. I know you're keeping a close eye on me. Love, Shalyn.

Friday, January 31, 2014

Thoughts

Lately, I haven't been feeling too creative, which is rough for me. So last night when words were coming, I rolled with it. Here they are for your viewing pleasures.

"3 am is for thoughts.
It's for late night snacks. 
It's for putting off homework. 
It's for remembering. 
It's for you."

"When I hear the 'plink',
I think of summer.
And when I think of summer,
I think of you."

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

New Year's Resolutions

This post is more for me than anyone else, but I don't think many people read this so no one will mind.
This is my new year's resolutions for 2014:

  • Smile more
  • Work harder
  • Enjoy the moment
  • Tag all my Tumblr posts
  • Eat healthier
  • Ask how others are doing
  • Spend more time in museums
  • Drive safer/Buckle up
  • Draw/paint more
  • Tell others how I feel
  • Look hella cute all the time
  • Stop using internet terms in real life
  • More tea, less pop
  • Spend more time with friends and less online
  • Do homework/projects sooner
  • Actually do therapy
  • Remember medicines
  • Call people when I say I will
  • Call home more often
  • Take risks, but be smart
I know a lot of these are really vague, but that'll make them easier to accomplish. That's the hope at least. Some of these are going to be easier than others, but I think they're all doable!

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Confidence

"One of the most important things I've learned so far at college is probably the most invaluable piece of knowledge I've ever gotten.
I look around at the girls on campus. Some of them are tan and toned, some are chubby, some are so fat they waddle, some are nothing but skin and bones, but they all look nice. And when you look at their faces, they all have some little imperfection. Every single one of them. And they still look nice.
As I sit here going through the album on Facebook that someone put up, full of close-up pictures of people smiling and having fun, I realize that the thing that ultimately makes someone pretty is them believing that they are pretty. I am by no means a super-model, but I have to start realizing that I am pretty. My eyes and nose and mouth are pretty. My face, even with it's acne scars and bumps, is pretty. My smile that reaches up into my eyes that are two different colors, is pretty. My body is as pretty as I present it to be. There are girls all around me with a flabby arms and thunder thighs that are not afraid to wear tank tops and short shorts. Some of them maybe shouldn't show so much, but I commend them for not being afraid of showing their body off to the public. I am more comfortable hiding inside my XL t-shirts and baggy shorts that cover my knees, but I don't need to hide. Somewhere on campus is a guy that would love to see more of me. Not just in the typical 'I want to put my penis inside of you' type, but the 'I want to get to know and love every inch of your skin' kind of way."

I started this post at the beginning of the semester, back in August or September. Now it's December. I've got a broken arm and a shaved head. (More on that in THIS post). The broken arm and wheelchair bound-ness has limited my wardrobe to sweats and t-shirts, which kind of sucks (but is kind of nice). But the shaved head, that has changed my entire look completely.

July of this year
After surgery
November of this year
Luckily, I found that guy I was referring to earlier. When I first saw my reflection without my hair, he was sitting with me. I started crying and he just sat there holding my hand. He told me not to worry because it wasn't even the prettiest part of me. Talk about a great guy. :)
The bottom line is, if I hadn't realized my own beauty, this wreck would have killed me. Not literally, but it would have killed my sense of self worth.
Sure, there are still days when I look in the mirror and want to cry. There are still moments when I see my reflection and say, "Ew." But I still know I'm pretty enough for me, and that's all that really counts.

Friday, December 13, 2013

The Month that Changed My Life


Thursday, October 24th, My friends and I had a "Classy Thursday." We dressed up all day, then got our friend's brother (and my soon to be boyfriend) to throw a Ho's and CEO's party. It was a great day and an even better night. :)

Fancy Thursday
Classy ho's :)

Saturday, October 26th we were in Omaha. We spent the day trying to find my little sister a Halloween costume. We were surprised at supper by my mom and her husband, who were supposed to be in Maine. Once we got back to Peru, we got ready for a costume party. Nichole went as a fox, Andi as a cowgirl, and I as a flapper from the 20's.
Lookin cute!
On Sunday October 27th, at around 2 am, I rolled my car. My (soon to be) boyfriend was with me, but thankfully was not hurt. He climbed out to find me partially ejected, my left arm bent under me, the car across my lap, and dirt coating my face as I screamed for help. Luckily an EMT lived just around the corner and came to sit with me until help came.
After they pulled me out onto the backboard and loaded me up in the ambulance, they took me to Auburn, and then flew me by helicopter to Lincoln's Brian West hospital. I was taken to the trauma ER where my parents met me.
I wasn't looking so great anymore
I went into surgery at 6:30 am to put my shattered humerus back together and to release the softball sized ball of fluid that was trapped between my skull and my scalp from where I hit my head against a tree. (I'll spare you the picture) When I woke up my room in ICU was full of people and machines. Apparently my friends followed me to both hospitals and stayed until my mom sent them home around 9 that morning. They came back that night too. :)
My little sister and Rich never left my side :)
The next few days are a bit of a blur. There were cards, calls, and visits from so many people. There were doctors and nurses and x-rays and needles. There were medications and vitals taken. I was so exhausted, but my friends came to see me almost every day, even if I was miserable company.
My best friend, Jacob, surprised me!
Dustin, Rich, Chelsea, me, Nichole, and Andi
Aka the "Peru Crew"















On Halloween, I was moved up to the rehab floor after finding out I have a fractured pelvis. I was excited to finally get to wear my own clothes!

In rehab, I met some wonderful people. We would all get together to eat and talk about why we were there. It was as much a part of therapy as any of the things the therapists made us do! Being able to see other people in your predicament is a great thing to mentally get you through the rehab!
Marilyn is a special young lady. :) She was in with an amputated foot. This lady has so much spunk, it can't help but cheer you up!
 Dave was in recovering from a stroke. He and I had therapy together most days, and he works so hard to get better! He and his wife, Kelly, live in the tiny town of Peru, where I go to college. It'll be fun to keep in touch with them when I go back to school.



James and Kelly were in a car accident not long after mine. He swerved to miss a deer and their car went off a bridge. Long story short, they're in bad shape -but lucky to be alive! They've been home (sort of) for a few weeks now. Luckily we can still keep in touch. :)







Due to my broken-ness, I couldn't go to school and I couldn't go home. Thankfully, a close friend has opened his home to my mother and I. He's truly a blessing right now!

It's now been 6 1/2 weeks since the accident. My fractured pelvis is almost healed and I've been cleared to start walking on December 19th. My arm is healing nicely, and I've even regained some control of my wrist! It's been a crazy month and a half, but I'm so lucky it happened. I've learned to be more patient and empathetic. I've found out who my real friends are, and who I can always count on. And hey, I got a pretty awesome boyfriend out of all this.
Though I'm not happy it happened, and I definitely regret a lot of choices that put me into this predicament, I will never forget this time in my life, and hopefully it makes me a better person. :)

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Be careful what you ask for, It might just come tue

All I wanted was someone to be laying in the sun, quietly reading with me. I wanted someone to put their arm around me when the sunset chills roll in. I wanted someone to curl up in blankets with me and talk as the moon comes up. I wanted someone to look at me the way I look at the sunsets and the moon and the beaches. I wanted someone to look at me and smile because I am the best thing in their world. I wanted someone to give me that special face.
Instead I got someone whose face lights up when he sees me. I got someone who’ll put their arm around me and hold me close before I have to ask. I got someone who’ll hold my hand as I lay in a hospital bed after an accident that could have killed us both. I got someone who truly understands what I've been through. Someone who doesn't have a smile for me, but a whole face lit up as he watches me do the simplest things. I got so much more than I bargained for. And it’s everything I've ever asked for.
Now let's just hope I don't screw it up.

Monday, September 9, 2013

My Obituary.

Once upon a time, I had a mentor named Connie. She's not old, but she's certainly not at the age to go out partying all night anymore. :) She and I were talking one day, and she told me that she has her obituary all written out and her funeral plans all set, just in case.
I've never thought much about it. I mean, I'm 18! I've got the whole world ahead of me! I'm invincible! But earlier today I was thinking about what others must think of me, and how I want to be remembered. So I've decided to write my own obituary as if I died today. This is by no means a cry for help or a suicide note!! It's just a way for me to really think out HOW I want to be remembered so I can assess what I need to change.

Shalyn Mae Holloway

6/12/95 - 9/9/13
Shalyn Holloway of Aurora died on Monday, September 9th, 2013 at the age of 18 years, 2 months, and 27 days.
Shalyn was born to Sheila (Moore) and Troy Holloway in Aurora, Nebraska on June 12, 1995 at 3:33 am, the first of many late nights for her. She attended Aurora Public Schools from kindergarten until her senior year when she graduated with the class of 2013 on May 12th. That fall, she began schooling at Peru State College with plans to major in Museum Sciences.
Shalyn did everything with all she had. If she loved you, she loved all of you most of the time. If she cared about something, she cared with utmost passion. If she laughed, she laughed with her whole heart until tears ran down her face and she began to sound like a whining guinea pig. And when she was mad, she burned the Earth with a passionate rage. She would drop everything to help her friends, and she often did. She sacrificed sleep and sanity, but it was what she loved to do.
Shalyn loved to learn. She'd spend hours sitting quietly with a book and her tea. She watched YouTube videos, memorized random trivia, read obscure articles, anything to learn some quirky fact.
Shalyn was a member of many online communities. She was a Nerdfighter, aiming to decrease the amount of bad in the world, and a fangirl, loving Dr. Who, Sherlock, Supernatural, Warehouse 13, Night Vale Radio, and Star Trek: The Next Generation. She would be incredibly disappointed to have died before she could get caught up on Dr. Who or to have seen Season 3 of Sherlock, if it ever comes.
Shalyn was greeted in death by her grandpa, Bob Holloway, and many, many ancestors. She is surely dying to hear all the stories she was never told of and by them. She will also be lovingly greeted by former family pets including, but not limited to Pete, Bruno, Shy, Max, Snoodles, Mrs. Cat, Tiger, Tiger, Samuel, Scrappy, Midnight, Smokey, Dorothy, Billie Bob, and Bubbles the Nerdfighting Hamster.
She leaves behind her grandma, Karen Holloway, father, Troy Holloway, mother, Sheila Gramm, sister, Risa Holloway, half-brother, Danial Jameson II, sister-in-law, Melanie Jameson, nieces, Claudia, Hailey, Carol-Ann, and Nichole, along with countless cousins, aunts, and uncles.
She also leaves behind her best friends, Jacob Bish, Megan Sharp (and family), the guys at the museum, and Nichole Iverson.
She would want her memory to live on by everyone focusing on not being a dick, and trying to make the world a better place. This can be done by recycling, volunteering, and donating to small museums.
She once said, "The message I'm trying to send . . . is, be a good friend. Help your friends."
Services will be Saturday September 14th at the First Christian Church in Aurora at 11:30 (am. We had to clarify for anyone who knew her love of night), followed by internment at the Aurora cemetery where she will be buried next to her beloved grandfather. A luncheon will follow. Everything will probably be late and dysfunctional as a testament to her lose relationship with time and organization.
Please allow any and all feelings to consume you as a way of remembering her. And remember: Don't Forget To Be Awesome.


I understand that that would never be published because it is long and inappropriate, but that would be great. I might have to write another one saying more about my life and less about my person, but I don't think anyone would really care about either. I think what made me most emotional when writing this was the 'she leaves behind' section. There are so many people I'd want to include! I've been so close to so many people in my short life, and it breaks my heart that I can't list them all. There have been best friends, mentors, church leaders, step-parents, boyfriends, girl friends, internet friends, people I was in various clubs and activities with, just too many to count or list. I know many of these people wouldn't ever know if I died. For all I know, they could be dead themselves. It's gut-wrenching to think that these people, who I have cared very deeply about at one point or another, and I have nothing to do with each other anymore. It makes you think about the fact that I might not have even met the most important in my life yet. Though I'm pretty sure I'll still be talking to Jacob and Megan and maybe even Nichole in 10-15 years. But who knows?
The only thing I'd hate about dying right now is that there would be people all over campus talking about it who never even talked to me. Surely there'd be some sort of 'remembrance' ceremony or something stupid like that, where all these people that don't know a thing about me would be at. My Facebook wall would be coated by people that never cared, talking about how much they'll miss me. The people I was actually friends with might post silly inside jokes, but more than likely they wouldn't say anything. I think that's how you can tell who your true friends are. When I die, will you publicly express your mourning, or will you quietly go on with your life? I'm pretty sure my best friends would be quietly walking around, attempting to go on with their lives, getting mad at the people pretending to miss me. My best friends will probably sit around by themselves a lot, probably talking to me. And I'll be right there. And hopefully they'll know that.
Shit. This is so much more emotional than I planned on. I'm just sitting here picturing how I would react if my best friend died. Honestly, I'd drop out of college for the semester. There is no way I could go to class after that. I don't know if I'd be able to go more than an hour without being struck down by gut wrenching sadness.
Oh God. Just the thought is awful.
But how lucky am I to have something that would hurt so much to lose?