Monday, April 29, 2013

Senioritis

When it hits, it hits hard. For the Aurora High School graduating class of 2013, senioritis has sunk it's claws into our spirit. Even the top of the class, the ones that have always been the front of the pack, has began to drag. With just 16 days left, we're all ready to leave. I only have one class a day, so imagine how much I don't want to be there. I go to band and choir, then I come sit in the guidance office (aka the senior sanctuary) for a class, then I go eat lunch at my grandma's and aide at the museum, before coming back to school for College World Lit and Language. Talk about sucking! It's not a terrible class. I actually really like the discussions we get into, but this multi-genre is killing me slowly.
That's what I should be doing right now. I'm sitting here in my empty block, left behind when I dropped out of College Algebra. I'm supposed to use it as a study hall, but I mostly just use it to play around online. I check Facebook and Twitter every 5-10 minutes, Tumblr is blocked on the school network, my Pandora radios are all perfectly customized, my graduation party has been planned to every little detail, but I'll always find something that needs to be done that isn't my English homework. I like to think it's a senior thing, but it's probably just a me thing.
So what else am I doing to fill my time lately? The musical's over, the party's all planned, the museum only has one or two projects for me to work on (Reading all of the Aurora newspapers from 1905 and 1906 and filing 1,000 probate records. My life rocks.) so that all takes up my time until about 5 o'clock. That still leaves 7-9 hours of my day to fill! Well, I spend a lot of time with my friend Jacob. I watch a lot of Netflix. I hang out at my grandma's. I lay in my room doing absolutely nothing. Sometimes I literally sit in my room and stare at the clock, watching it inch closer to graduation. It's getting pathetic, really. (Side note: only 303 more hours until I walk across the stage!) I feel like at this point, no one should expect anything of me. I took a week off of work right after graduation. I'm going to sleep until noon. Maybe I'll do some laundry. Maybe I'll get caught up on Dr. Who. Maybe I'll get through 5 more generations on Sims 2. But I'm not going to do anything that is vitally important. No papers, no tests, no quizzes, no working, and no schedules. I am going to take a one week vacation and just do nothing.
*flashes forward a few days to when I remembered this forgotten draft*
My mom and I went to Grand Island this afternoon to buy scrapbook stuff for all my pictures. We spent a whole hour in those three isles of Hobby Lobby, talking about all the cool pictures I have. I've reached the point in graduation party planning where I'm trying to figure out how I can use this party to show the world how I view things. I don't want people to just show up, sign the scrapbook, eat some cake, and move on. I want people to learn something about me. Be it learning that I have two different colored eyes, learning how my life has looked through my eyes, or my deep thoughts on nerding out, I want people to learn something. I feel like if there is one thing people take away from meeting me, it's that we should constantly be learning.
Of course, I say this as I avoid doing my English project(s), so what do I know.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Questions!


So I've been trying to come up with things to blog about on here. I thought about talking about my life (graduation, prom, best friend-om, museum stuff, English class, etc). Then one day (every day) I was on Tumblr and someone had reblogged this. I blogged it for finding purposes, and now I'm going to answer all 23 of these questions! It's like middle school on Facebook all over again!!!

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
I think it's easier to look into their eyes while I'm talking than when I'm listening. I mean, where are you supposed to look when the other person is talking???
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
I think it would be safe to assume it had something to do with my dad's girlfriend's existence.
3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
Oh geez. Well, I'm assuming help has already been called. I would either call my grandma or my best friend, Jacob. Jacob would probably be like, "What the hell do you want? I have better things to do than listen to you. I hate you!" and as much as I would love for that to be our last conversation, I think I'd want some love from my grandma in those final moments.
4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
I would tell the people that I think need to know. I probably wouldn't put it on Facebook or Twitter or on here. I'd probably spend a lot of time reading and making bad decisions with my friends. I would most definitely not go to school. That's the only thing I know for sure.
5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.
I would choose trust. If I had to marry someone based on this question, I would choose the person I trust over the person I love any day. Love can get messy and painful and is often not worth it, especially if you can't trust the person you love. If I trust someone, I'm trusting that they aren't going to hurt me. They're going to take care of me and we could be happy together for a long, long time.
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?
1) There is no canal near me, so this is highly unlikely. 2) I can't swim. 3) I would never work for someone who doesn't understand my loose relationship with time. 4) I'd just call 911. Poor puppy!
7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
Love. If you're hurt by someone you trust, it hurts so much more because you were trusting that they wouldn't do that. It's almost expected to be hurt by the one you love.
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
Holy poop. This is something that everyone I know is asking me lately. He's someone I really trust. I know he'll always be there for me and will always watch my back, and I for him. I think I've already fallen in love with him, but not in that way. If he told me that he loved me (which is unlikely to happen) I would be completely baffled. I would, for once in my life, be speechless.
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?
In a heartbeat, so long as I get to spend that one hour with him. I don't honestly see the value in my own life, so to sacrifice a year of my life to spend even a minute more with my grandpa would mean the world to me.
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
Heck no! I'm indecisive, moody, unpredictable, and rude. I have no filter for my thoughts or actions, and I don't care if what I say hurts someone. I would cry if I had a friend like me. But on the other side, I devote everything to whoever I'm with. They have my full attention and care, 24/7. I guess I'd take me, as long as I knew the side effects.
11. Does love = sex?
Most certainly not. I love my sister, but NOT like that. I love Jacob, but not like that either. And making love is not the same as having sex. A person can have sex with anyone, but you can only make love to someone you're in love with.
12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?
I think I would. Chances are, my boss would be able to give me a glowing review for any potential employers because of that act of kindness. It's just a job anyhow.
13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
I don't know, actually. I say a lot of brutally honest things to people every day, but it's never been very difficult. I'm kind of thinking of this as telling something to someone I care about, and I don't tell people I care about what I honestly think. I'd scare a lot of friends off.
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?
I think it's harder to tell someone you don't love them back. As much of a rude person as I can be, I don't like to break other people's hearts. I'd honestly probably just go along with it for a long time before I finally had to say something.
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
Material or other? If we're talking material things, I'd say internet. It's how I keep in touch with friends, family, and even strangers. It's how I stay up to date on current events, and how I entertain myself. Non-material things, I'd have to say my cat. I love that little guy so much. I would cry for days if I lost him.
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
I tell my grandma I love her every day. I didn't tell my grandpa I loved him the last time I saw him, so I'm trying to make sure that never happens again.
17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
I don't know. Probably last Saturday night, after prom. I'd try and milk a little more fun out of the night. :)
18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
Probably? I don't really know. I don't know CPR, and I don't have one of those mask things. I don't know if I'd save anyone. I have very little value for human life. There's so many of us!
19.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?
I'd let go of my grandma. She has led a very long, happy life, and I think she would rather go on to see Grandpa again. Besides, it'd be so selfish of me to save her for my own personal sake and let someone's baby die.
20. Are you old fashioned?
Without a doubt.
21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
I'm not sure. I try to be a generally friendly person to people I meet. 
22.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
23.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
I think if I could wish to do anything in the world, I would want to get paid to learn. I don't want to be told what I have to learn though, I just want to learn what I want when I want.

So there we have it! 23 things you've been DYING to know about me!