Blessed.

     As I was just laying out in the sun, I can't help but think back to a few months ago when I couldn't even lay down comfortably with all my braces. I couldn't get dressed by myself, I couldn't shower by myself, I couldn't walk, I couldn't cook. It was awful. And I think of where I am today, brace free, jumping, cooking, typing, walking to class; I can't help but think of how blessed I am to be alive.
     I shouldn't be alive. I should have been crushed beneath my car. The blood clot between my skull and my scalp could have been on my brain. I could have gotten an infection in the shattered bones of my broken arm. I could have turned out a lot worse. For only expecting 80% of my function back, I currently have close to 90% of it back, and I gain a little more every week!

     I'm blessed to have the amazing friends that I have. The first week I was in the hospital, Andi, and Rich came up every night but one, each time bringing other friends of ours, Nichole, Dustin, and Chelsea. Jacob also made it a point to come see me as often as possible. Every day I received letters, cards, flowers, Facebook messages, or visitors wishing me nothing but the speediest of recoveries. My aunt and Grandma came up, my cousins took part of their honeymoon to come see me, my mom stayed with me every night, my dad came up every day after work with my little sister, even my brother called to check in on me. I had the most amazing support system I could have ever asked for.

     Not to mention the incredible swiftness of the Peru Volunteer Fire and Rescue team for getting me out from under my car and to the hospital as soon as they did, the skill of the pilot that life-flighted me to Lincoln, and the care of the doctors and nurses in the ER at both Auburn and Bryan LGH East, as well as the skill of the surgeons who operated on me.
     Of course I have many blessings not relating to my accident, too! I have amazing friends like Jacob, who I can talk to at any time about any thing. I have friends like Nichole and Andi who are always around for a good laugh. I have Rich, who is always there to cheer me up when I'm feeling down. I have Megan, who I can look to for advice and guidance, and also do fun crafty projects with. I have family like my grandma, who will always take me in and just let me sit when I need a moment, providing tea and cookies until my heart's content. I have my mom, who I can tell anything without fear of persecution or punishment (at first anyhow). I have my dad, who is always up for a crappy movie at any time of the day or night. I have my baby sister, Risa, who shows me what I'm like, and also how to maintain childlike innocence. I was raised in a wonderful community of people who support and care for each other. I went to a good high school and was part of a superior band and an excellent choir. I currently attend a lovely little school, where I have made some awesome friends and taken some great classes.
I've been incredibly blessed in the last year, to say the least. I've made great friends, went great places, and lived through incredible circumstances.
I can't wait to see what the next year has to bless me with!

Grandpa

First off, WOW! I just logged on to see I have 1400 page views! Thanks to all of you!

I'm currently in a speech class, and had to write an introductory speech for someone, but couldn't use any online sources. How, in today's world, can I do that? Do a speech about someone you know, of course! My grandpa passed away on January 5th, 2011, but I chose to do my speech on this amazing man anyhow. He was such a wonderful influence in my life, and I think of him often. He will forever be someone I strive to be like, and I hope I can be half as awesome as he. I only wish I had more time with him . . .

That being said, here is my speech introducing my grandpa, Robert "Bob" Holloway.

     Dedication is a quality everyone strives to achieve, and Robert “Bob” Holloway seems to have that quality down pat. I'm very proud to admit that Bob is my grandfather, and that he is a man dedicated to his work, his family, and the various clubs he has been a part of throughout his life.
     All his life, Bob always wanted nothing more than to be a farmer. He was an active member of both his 4-H club, and of Future Farmers of America all through high school. Once he graduated high school in 1962, he began his own farm, which eventually built up to a family corporation. When he first started, he farmed by day and worked at a local gas station by night to help make ends meet his daughter-in-law, Sheila, said in an interview. Together, he and his wife built their farm and raised hogs over the course of thirty years. At one time they had over 250 hogs on their hog farm, breeding, raising, and selling them. Picking up 220 pound hogs, turning them around, and sending them on their merry way can take a toll on a person's body, as evident by the many surgeries he had due to injuries sustained by this common activity on the farm.
     In 1989, at the age of 45 he let his son, Stacey, take over the family farm and went to Grand Island to pursue an education in law enforcement at the academy. Once he graduated, he joined the Hamilton County Sheriff's Department in Aurora, Nebraska as Chief Deputy, where he spent twenty years in the same office doing the same job until he retired in 2009, a feat not achieved by many. According to an interview with his daughter-in-law, he earned awards and accolades from many senior officials in the state of Nebraska throughout his twenty year career.
     Even after he turned over the farm to his son, he and his wife could still be found out in the fields in the evenings and on weekends, guiding and assisting his son through harvest, irrigation, and any other farm troubles he may come across. After he reached retirement, he helped out even more, always looking forward to another day on the farm.
     Bob married his high school sweetheart in 1964. His wife, Karen, told me in an interview that they met at school. “Aurora High School isn't very big, and it wasn't back then either,” she said. In 1965, they began their family with a son, Troy, my father, to be later followed by another son, Stacey, and a daughter, Candy. He was a wonderful father as his children grew up, taking them camping and helping them raise their own livestock, as well as leading their 4-H groups and being a FFA sponsor. As his children grew up and had children, his grandkids became his pride and joy and he passed on many of his own passions to them. From fishing and farming, to cars and camping. He always tries his best to make it to every activity, and is always loving and supportive of every choice we make.
     Bob started his first 4-H club before any of his kids were even old enough to join, leading instead kids from the surrounding and near by farms. In the 1970's he even got to take his group on a trip to Canada for a leadership camp.
     In addition to 4-H, he and his wife started the Hamilton County chapter of Junior Pork Producers to help encourage young people to continue raising hogs. They led this group for twenty years before the demand dwindled away and their group dissolved, but not before they set up a scholarship for Hamilton County teens and young adults looking to continue their education in agriculture and agribusiness that is still available today.
     Bob was also on the Hamilton County fair board, holding various positions throughout the years.
     Bob had many interests that didn't involve agriculture though! He loved cars and racing as well. In the mid to late 1960's he brought dirt track stock car racing to Hamilton County, co-owning a car with a friend of his, though he never drove it himself. Instead, he provided 'half time entertainment' of sorts as “Buckin' Bob” with his bobcat, picking up debris from the track and performing various tricks, his son, Troy, told me in an interview. He also started demolition derbies, which he did compete in in the number eleven car. Thankfully, he was never hurt in the derbies, but, “that was one of his stupid moments,” says his wife in an interview.
      To say the least, Bob is a hardworking man. He loves his family, he's dedicated to his job, and he loves sharing his interests and activities with others in the community.
     Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm welcome to Bob Holloway.

Rest in peace Grandpa. I know you're keeping a close eye on me. Love, Shalyn.

Thoughts

Lately, I haven't been feeling too creative, which is rough for me. So last night when words were coming, I rolled with it. Here they are for your viewing pleasures.

"3 am is for thoughts.

It's for late night snacks. 

It's for putting off homework. 

It's for remembering. 

It's for you."

"When I hear the 'plink',
I think of summer.
And when I think of summer,
I think of you."

New Year's Resolutions

This post is more for me than anyone else, but I don't think many people read this so no one will mind.
This is my new year's resolutions for 2014:

• Smile more
• Work harder
• Enjoy the moment
• Tag all my Tumblr posts
• Eat healthier
• Ask how others are doing
• Spend more time in museums
• Drive safer/Buckle up
• Draw/paint more
• Tell others how I feel
• Look hella cute all the time
• Stop using internet terms in real life
• More tea, less pop
• Spend more time with friends and less online
• Do homework/projects sooner
• Actually do therapy
• Remember medicines
• Call people when I say I will
• Call home more often
• Take risks, but be smart

I know a lot of these are really vague, but that'll make them easier to accomplish. That's the hope at least. Some of these are going to be easier than others, but I think they're all doable!

Confidence

"One of the most important things I've learned so far at college is probably the most invaluable piece of knowledge I've ever gotten.
I look around at the girls on campus. Some of them are tan and toned, some are chubby, some are so fat they waddle, some are nothing but skin and bones, but they all look nice. And when you look at their faces, they all have some little imperfection. Every single one of them. And they still look nice.
As I sit here going through the album on Facebook that someone put up, full of close-up pictures of people smiling and having fun, I realize that the thing that ultimately makes someone pretty is them believing that they are pretty. I am by no means a super-model, but I have to start realizing that I am pretty. My eyes and nose and mouth are pretty. My face, even with it's acne scars and bumps, is pretty. My smile that reaches up into my eyes that are two different colors, is pretty. My body is as pretty as I present it to be. There are girls all around me with a flabby arms and thunder thighs that are not afraid to wear tank tops and short shorts. Some of them maybe shouldn't show so much, but I commend them for not being afraid of showing their body off to the public. I am more comfortable hiding inside my XL t-shirts and baggy shorts that cover my knees, but I don't need to hide. Somewhere on campus is a guy that would love to see more of me. Not just in the typical 'I want to put my penis inside of you' type, but the 'I want to get to know and love every inch of your skin' kind of way."

I started this post at the beginning of the semester, back in August or September. Now it's December. I've got a broken arm and a shaved head. (More on that in THIS post). The broken arm and wheelchair bound-ness has limited my wardrobe to sweats and t-shirts, which kind of sucks (but is kind of nice). But the shaved head, that has changed my entire look completely.

July of this year

After surgery

November of this year

Luckily, I found that guy I was referring to earlier. When I first saw my reflection without my hair, he was sitting with me. I started crying and he just sat there holding my hand. He told me not to worry because it wasn't even the prettiest part of me. Talk about a great guy. :)
The bottom line is, if I hadn't realized my own beauty, this wreck would have killed me. Not literally, but it would have killed my sense of self worth.
Sure, there are still days when I look in the mirror and want to cry. There are still moments when I see my reflection and say, "Ew." But I still know I'm pretty enough for me, and that's all that really counts.

The Month that Changed My Life

Thursday, October 24th, My friends and I had a "Classy Thursday." We dressed up all day, then got our friend's brother (and my soon to be boyfriend) to throw a Ho's and CEO's party. It was a great day and an even better night. :)

Fancy Thursday

Classy ho's :)

Saturday, October 26th we were in Omaha. We spent the day trying to find my little sister a Halloween costume. We were surprised at supper by my mom and her husband, who were supposed to be in Maine. Once we got back to Peru, we got ready for a costume party. Nichole went as a fox, Andi as a cowgirl, and I as a flapper from the 20's.

Lookin cute!

On Sunday October 27th, at around 2 am, I rolled my car. My (soon to be) boyfriend was with me, but thankfully was not hurt. He climbed out to find me partially ejected, my left arm bent under me, the car across my lap, and dirt coating my face as I screamed for help. Luckily an EMT lived just around the corner and came to sit with me until help came.
After they pulled me out onto the backboard and loaded me up in the ambulance, they took me to Auburn, and then flew me by helicopter to Lincoln's Brian West hospital. I was taken to the trauma ER where my parents met me.

I wasn't looking so great anymore

I went into surgery at 6:30 am to put my shattered humerus back together and to release the softball sized ball of fluid that was trapped between my skull and my scalp from where I hit my head against a tree. (I'll spare you the picture) When I woke up my room in ICU was full of people and machines. Apparently my friends followed me to both hospitals and stayed until my mom sent them home around 9 that morning. They came back that night too. :)

My little sister and Rich never left my side :)

The next few days are a bit of a blur. There were cards, calls, and visits from so many people. There were doctors and nurses and x-rays and needles. There were medications and vitals taken. I was so exhausted, but my friends came to see me almost every day, even if I was miserable company.

My best friend, Jacob, surprised me!

Dustin, Rich, Chelsea, me, Nichole, and Andi
Aka the "Peru Crew"

On Halloween, I was moved up to the rehab floor after finding out I have a fractured pelvis. I was excited to finally get to wear my own clothes!

In rehab, I met some wonderful people. We would all get together to eat and talk about why we were there. It was as much a part of therapy as any of the things the therapists made us do! Being able to see other people in your predicament is a great thing to mentally get you through the rehab!

Marilyn is a special young lady. :) She was in with an amputated foot. This lady has so much spunk, it can't help but cheer you up!

 Dave was in recovering from a stroke. He and I had therapy together most days, and he works so hard to get better! He and his wife, Kelly, live in the tiny town of Peru, where I go to college. It'll be fun to keep in touch with them when I go back to school.

James and Kelly were in a car accident not long after mine. He swerved to miss a deer and their car went off a bridge. Long story short, they're in bad shape -but lucky to be alive! They've been home (sort of) for a few weeks now. Luckily we can still keep in touch. :)







Due to my broken-ness, I couldn't go to school and I couldn't go home. Thankfully, a close friend has opened his home to my mother and I. He's truly a blessing right now!

It's now been 6 1/2 weeks since the accident. My fractured pelvis is almost healed and I've been cleared to start walking on December 19th. My arm is healing nicely, and I've even regained some control of my wrist! It's been a crazy month and a half, but I'm so lucky it happened. I've learned to be more patient and empathetic. I've found out who my real friends are, and who I can always count on. And hey, I got a pretty awesome boyfriend out of all this.
Though I'm not happy it happened, and I definitely regret a lot of choices that put me into this predicament, I will never forget this time in my life, and hopefully it makes me a better person. :)

Be careful what you ask for, It might just come tue

All I wanted was someone to be laying in the sun, quietly reading with me. I wanted someone to put their arm around me when the sunset chills roll in. I wanted someone to curl up in blankets with me and talk as the moon comes up. I wanted someone to look at me the way I look at the sunsets and the moon and the beaches. I wanted someone to look at me and smile because I am the best thing in their world. I wanted someone to give me that special face.
Instead I got someone whose face lights up when he sees me. I got someone who’ll put their arm around me and hold me close before I have to ask. I got someone who’ll hold my hand as I lay in a hospital bed after an accident that could have killed us both. I got someone who truly understands what I've been through. Someone who doesn't have a smile for me, but a whole face lit up as he watches me do the simplest things. I got so much more than I bargained for. And it’s everything I've ever asked for.
Now let's just hope I don't screw it up.